


Not Strong Enough

by hirusen



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Blankets, Comfort, Crying, Emotions, Family Feels, Friends to Enemies, Gen, Gentleness, Gloves, Past Friendship, Past Relationship(s), Petting Hair, Possible Anxiety Triggers, Resting Head In Lap, Sharing a Bed, Sleep, Stuffed Toys, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 05:11:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13629309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirusen/pseuds/hirusen
Summary: He didn't want to hurt his family, but...to think that HE would be the person he'd rely on...





	Not Strong Enough

**Author's Note:**

> So...I have a new muse: the Sanders Sides! I've been watching and re-watching all of the videos to make sure that I get each character right, BUT! I do have some headcanons of my own that will get tossed into the canon stuff, so please forgive; my brain can't help but add stuff to these kinds of characters and things.

He felt it before Patton even noticed it; his emotions becoming too heightened, too strong. The emotional brick wall slammed into him seconds later, his chest getting tight, heart beating faster than it should, a sole thought at the center of his current attack: totally useless. Virgil rushed to his room, knowing that the other Sides were following him, but that only made things worse. " _ **Stay away!**_ " He yelled, unable to stop his voice from becoming dark and stronger. "Virgil! Wait, please! We just want to help!" Roman cried out, being the one closest to him distance wise. His hand grabbed onto his shoulder and Virgil screamed, shoving the Prince into the wall, the other duo skidding to a halt at his actions.

" ** _I said stay away! I..._ I...can't... _You can't be near me right now!!_** " He shouted, only able to momentarily control his anxiety, but then it came back in full force, more negative thoughts joining his mind. "Virgil, please try to calm down. We are not trying to hurt you." Logan spoke, concern in his eyes; Patton was actually being held back by Logan, his face a swamp of emotions, all of them making him worry for Virgil's well being as well as hating himself for not being able to see that Virgil was starting to have another attack (he's gotten pretty good at spotting them). " ** _It's..._** _it's not_ **your fault, Dad. _But, please! Stay_** _away from me..._ " His voice was fluctuating, which Logan knew wasn't a good sign. Before he could even try to open his mouth, Anxiety turned on his heel, booking it down the last of the hallway to his room, slamming the door hard and locking it.

He successfully isolated himself from the rest of them.

"Virgil..." Roman hushed, defeated. Ever since the little devil had opened up and introduced himself properly to them and Thomas, they all had been trying to make him feel as welcomed as they could; he and Virgil actually hitting it off quite well when he learned that Virgil liked to apply make-up to help calm himself down when he has smaller attacks, letting him do his stage make-up before he performs. "Sh, it's alright, Patton." The Prince turned to see Thomas's heart bawling, his logical Side holding him tight to try and comfort him. "Come now, Patton dear, let's check on him later. You know that he'll unlock his door after he calms down a little." Roman spoke, cupping his face and wiping the tears away from his cheeks. He nodded and the trio left Virgil for now.

* * *

" **Damn it...** _damn it... **damn** it **,**_ **damn** _ **it, damn it!!**_ " Virgil groaned as he let the back of his head greet his door several times, hating himself even more and finding it even harder to breathe _. Just calm down, Virgil. Slow breaths, everything is alright. No need to be worried._ He mentally cooed to himself, but it wasn't working like it used to; this attack was just too strong, the thoughts flooding his mind even stronger.

Stupid.  
Pathetic.  
Weak.  
Totally useless.  
Unworthy.  
Unwanted.  
Hated.  
Demon.  
Evil.  
You aren't worth their time.  
They don't actually want you.  
They don't want you around.  
They hate you.  
You'll just end up failing them.  
You'll only get in their way.

He felt something start to run down his face and when he touched it, he realized that he was crying. He curled up into a ball at the bottom of his door and openly cried, not caring if the other Sides heard him and got more upset; he forced himself not to care because it would only add fuel to the fire right now. Virgil just had to let his emotions flow out, he had to get through this attack alone. He--

"Well, well. It's certainly been a while since you've had an attack like this, hasn't it, Virgil?" Named man snapped his head up when the coy tone reached his ears. " **Deceit** _...how did you **get in here?**_ " Virgil keeps his room under very tight 'lock and key' so to speak; unless his guard his totally down or he's allowed someone permission, they can't get into his room (the lone acceptation to that is when Thomas needs to come here with or without the others). "Oh, my dear, have you forgotten? We're friends, remember?" Virgil hissed at the other, his eyes narrow. " _ **YOU are not my friend!**_"

Deceit sighed, walking over to Virgil and kneeling down to his level. "Inhale slowly." He kept his eyes narrow, but did as Deceit told, his voice strangely relaxing right now. "1...2...3...4... Exhale slowly." He did and he felt as some of the tension in his body loosened up. "1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... Good. Keep going." Deceit spoke, not doing anything, just staying there with Virgil as he kept up the breathing exercise. "You are in a safe place. You are wanted by the ones you care for. You have done nothing wrong." Those words hit Anxiety across the face; he knew exactly what this darker Side was doing.

He's done this for him in the past, before he opened up to the ones he  **truly** cares about. Still, to think that he'd be willing to do this... " **What's your game, Deceit?** " "No game. Not...this time." His voice lost that coyness and Virgil swallowed. He hates when Deceit's not being....deceitful for a lack of a better word. Deceit's half-snake face softened a little, reaching his hand out to Virgil, a silent offer.

Anxiety hesitated.

Despite his and Deceit's past, he knew that his words were true; it's rare for Deceit to actually be honest, but Virgil knew this was one of the few times he was. Taking the gloved hand in his own, Virgil let himself get pulled to his feet, the other guiding him to his bed. Deceit sat down on it, having pulled the covers up so Virgil could crawl in; once he had, he covered him in his sheets and reached over the edge of the bed, pulling up a thick, soft blanket. Virgil almost snatched it out of his hands, Deceit softly chuckling at his actions; the ball of anxiety that was resting under the sheets mewled softly when the other Side covered his shoulders in the blanket, tucking it around his throat to keep him nuzzled and warm. "Look who else is here, Virgil." He glanced up and made the most childish of noises, but frankly he didn't care at the moment as he was handed both a stuffed rabbit and fox. The rabbit was hand made by Roman and he absolutely adores it, the fox on the other hand, was actually a gift from Deceit back when Anxiety was part of Thomas's Dark Sides.

Virgil casted his eyes up to the other when his head was lifted up, but threw the confusion off his face when his head and neck were settled nicely in Deceit's lap. "There you go. Nice and warm, safe. With nothing to fear and nothing to be anxious about. You are alright, and everything is okay." Being who he is, Virgil isn't normally affected or even swayed by Deceit's words, but when he's emotionally strained like this, his words have a huge power over him; he makes people believe what he wants them to believe after all. He heard fabric shifting above him and then he felt Deceit's naked hand in his hair, stroking it slowly. He said nothing more, just petting Virgil's hair, humming a little tune he knew Anxiety liked in the back of his throat. Slowly but surely, Virgil's attack lessened and lessened.

"...Why?" He finally asked, his eyes starting to get a little heavier, but his choking level of anxiety gone. "Close your eyes, Virgil." He hushed, listening to him groan, but watched as he shut his eyes, still threading his hand through his purple dyed hair. "...I did this because you needed it. You're afraid to hurt the ones you love; you aren't afraid to hurt me." "Still hold a grudge over that, huh?" The snide tone Virgil was using forced Deceit to hold in his growl, making sure that he didn't change to appear threatening to Virgil; he's only starting to calm down, still vulnerable to slipping back into another attack if he felt like he was in danger. "Yes, I am." "Well, you can't really blame me for doing what I did because of what you and the other Dark Sides did. You forced my hand."

Deceit was quiet. "Don't even try to get me back; Logan, Roman, Patton, and Thomas are my family now. They're my home." "I know. Still...I wish you would just come talk to us once in a while, at least me if not the others." "Why? So you, or the others, can hurt me again? No. I'm staying, were I'm wanted." While he knew Thomas's Anxiety couldn't see it, he smiled; a genuine one. "...Thank you...I..." Virgil sighed, but the other chuckled.

"I'll leave a list of ways to calm you with the others. Just...expect me to show up if you refuse their help." Virgil weakly laughed. "You know, if you really missed me that much, you could join us; be one of the good guys." An amused bark left Deceit. "Me? Oh, that's the best joke I think you've ever told me." "They aren't as closed minded as you think, it'd just...take them some time to get used to you." Virgil kinda felt as Deceit shook his head. "I don't belong with them, Virgil, but...the offer is...sweet."

They said nothing for a while, Deceit noticing that Virgil's breathing had slowed and deepened, his shoulders slumped and his features relaxed. "Rest, my little one. May you keep the ones you love closest to your heart." Deceit hushed before he slipped out from Virgil's bed, unlocking and opening the door.

Only to find Roman and the others standing outside.

"Dec--" Roman started, but the Dark Side's gloved hand was clapped over his mouth, his other hand rising up to his lips, a single finger pressing against it; he silently told them to be quiet, side-stepping to let them see that Virgil was inside, asleep in his bed. "I'm sure he'd like all of your company, but please keep it down; he's only starting to fully calm from his attack." He explained, hand falling off Prince Roman's face. "How did you get inside his room?" Logan growled, which was actually threatening coming from him. "I have my ways." Deceit slithered between the other Sides, coming to a stop when Patton's hand snatched his wrist. "He's...gonna be okay...right?"

Oh, goodness, Thomas's Morality was still a total mess! And while Deceit enjoyed that fact, he chose to not play with his food this time. "Yes. Might need a little more comfort when he wakes up, but he will be fine." The trio wasn't sure what to do when he didn't talk in that coy tone they know him to always have; what the hell happened in Virgil's room? Logan glanced from Deceit into Virgil's room, his own worry easing up a little at the other's restful expression. When he turned back to reluctantly thank Deceit, the Dark Side was already gone.

Patton scooted past him to go into Virgil's room, lifting up his head as he crawled onto his bed, letting his head rest in lap; Roman wasn't too far behind, settling behind the sleeping male, his arm coiled around his waist, merely holding him in his embrace. Logan knew that he what he was going to do once he got inside Anxiety's room--which was pick up where they left off in the book they chose to read together, smirking to himself when he remembered that Virgil did like to listen to someone read aloud when he got anxious--but he stared down the hallway for a moment longer.

"...For what it's worth, thank you, Deceit." He heard as Logan walked calmly into Anxiety's room, softly shutting the door. He leaned against the wall around the corner for another moment. "...You're welcome." And then he was gone.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Protecting Him](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14524851) by [Username_Undecided](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Username_Undecided/pseuds/Username_Undecided)




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